And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
