Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
