Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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