It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
