There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
