I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
