Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize