Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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