I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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