I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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