i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
