Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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