You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
