well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
