You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she pinky promised me she was 18
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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