I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
