Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
