my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
