the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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