Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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