it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize