I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
