Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
