Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
