I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
