Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
