I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
