Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We are two peas in an std pod
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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