I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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