i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
