I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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