No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
