well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
