I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
