You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize