Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
