This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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