Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
