I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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