Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
