I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
