Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize