Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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