did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You ruined the universe
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
