your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
