walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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