just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
