You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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