I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
