I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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