I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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