Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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