i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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