Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
