On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
