your room smells of hookers.
And success
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
