oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
