scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
